What People Find Most Attractive About Their Romantic Partner's Mind
Do you remember what caught your attention the first time you set eyes on your partner? Maybe it was the way they smiled? Or, you saw them petting a lost dog.
Everything you do reflects the mysteries of your mind. For good or ill, your words and actions reflect who you are.
And, they are ultimately what you would find attractive about your partner’s mind. Sometimes, your brain hijacks you and nudges you in a certain direction, though.
Take a look at what aspects other people find attractive about their partner.
Sense of Humor: Living with Laughter
Does your partner laugh at your jokes? Can they find humor and joy in different situations?
Laughter is an essential part of life. And, equally essential in romantic relationships.
But, does that mean your romantic partner needs to be a jokester? Not necessarily.
Experts found that shared humor is what makes relationships stronger.[1] It may even be what first attracted you to your partner to begin with. But, there are slight differences in how different genders perceive humor and attraction.
When entering the attraction dance of courting, men want someone who will laugh at their jokes. Big surprise there? Not really.
On the other hand, women are more attracted to someone who makes them laugh. It really is one of the most desired traits across cultures.
And, though these gender reactions are complementary, you have to wonder why they are so different. Experts believe they have an answer to that. And, it has to do with a biological imperative.
To put it simply, women are attracted to partners that can make them laugh because it makes them stand out.[2] Think of a buck with a great set of antlers. Impressive, right?
Well, this is the human equivalent. And, witty people are sexy. Especially when you don’t have much else to go on at first.
Humor and wit can signal a lot of information like creativity and intelligence. And, both are highly desirable genetic traits.
And, the mind wants what the body wants … to procreate. Or, something like that.
But, what about men who want partners who laugh at their jokes? Laughter is a social cue that signals enjoyment, and interest. So, when a partner laughs at a man’s joke, they are letting him know they appreciate his company.
Humor changes a bit in long-term relationships. And, the shift goes to “shared humor”. That means that the both of you have similar tastes in what is funny.
So, if you both crack up over the latest episode of “The Simpsons.” Or, share a chuckle over The New Yorker cartoons, as long as it’s done together it is a relationship builder.
Kindness and Compassion: Feel Good Hormones for Everyone
Another trait that people find attractive about their partner’s mind is kindness. But, does kindness really reflect the mind?
It’s actually a cyclical pattern of positivity. Remember those random acts of kindness you love watching your partner perform? See, it releases oxytocin in the brain.[3]
Oxytocin is a “feel good” hormone. It can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. And, it also increases self-confidence and self-esteem.
And all those benefits are just from watching your partner be nice. But, what do they get from these acts of kindness and compassion?
Well, the person being kind gets a dose of serotonin.[3] That is another “feel good” hormone. And, it leads to feelings of optimism and general happiness.
So, it’s “feel good” hormones all around. No wonder it’s an attractive trait in a partner. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone who makes everyone feel good?
Similarities: Loving Someone Just Like You
Are you two peas in a pod? Do you and your partner share similar hobbies and interests?
It’s okay. Loving someone like you isn’t narcissistic. Not completely, anyway.
And, it may be a great indicator for longevity in your long-term relationships. You may also have looked for someone who had similar values and beliefs as you do. Even if it was subconsciously.
Sharing common core values is one of the hallmarks of a happy and healthy couple, according to experts.[4] Even if the everyday general details are a bit different from yours.
So, why do you love that you and your partner are similar? Aside from the “like attracts like” concept, it may also be an indicator of fewer conflicts in the future.
That’s not to say that the two of you will not have differences. However, the core similarities should be similar enough to overcome any difficulties in differences.
This means that maybe you both have the same value or belief system. So, you resolve disagreements in a way that leaves you in harmony. Not discord.
Personal Ambition: Can’t Keep a Good Person Down
Finally, are personal goals sexy? Some people think so. After all, who wants a partner who is constantly clinging to them for validation?
So, the last trait people find attractive about their romantic partner’s mind is a sense of ambition. This means that they have their own life to pursue, but still support your goals, too.
You don’t want someone who makes you the center of their world. That gets old real fast. And, you have to admit that it’s a bit of a turn-off.
Instead, you admire your partner’s strong sense of self. They set goals for themselves. And, you both set goals together.
This strength and intelligence is appealing in a partner because you know that if they are strong enough to pursue their own ambitions. They will be strong enough to help you if you need it, too.
Final Thought
These are only a few of the main things other people find attractive about their romantic partner’s mind. Did you see any similarities? Would your list be different?
You may think attraction is a deeply individual and personal thing. And, in some aspect you would be right.
But, there are common denominators in most attraction scenarios that indicate your brain is also nudging you in that area of your love life. And, it works, right? So, why mess with a good thing?
Sometimes, your brain really does know what’s best for you.
