It’s 2021! Out with the old and in with the new, as they say. What goals are you working on this year? What steps are you taking to turn those goals into a reality 12 months from now? Make sure to spend some time to sit yourself down, think them through and actually write them down.
As you work on yourself and your goals for this year, make sure to not allow toxic things to piggyback on your journey. Identify them and cut them out from your life as soon as you can as they stop your growth and hinder your greatness. What are some of these toxic things? Here are 4 of the most common:
Unrealistic expectations
Expectation in itself is not wrong, it is normal to expect and be hopeful of something especially if you’ve put considerable effort into it. You’ve worked very hard in your job, you therefore expect to get paid for the services you’ve rendered. However, expecting something will happen is not enough to actually make it happen. When you expect something, you don’t just declare it into the world and hope it falls in your lap - you get and do something to make it happen.
An important thing you have to remember in terms of expectations is that you can’t control everything around you. The only thing you can control is yourself, and how you react to things happening around you. How do you then reconcile expectations and your self-worth? You can be hopeful, but try to avoid being controlling. Never let your self-worth hinge on other people meeting your expectations of them. Protect your self-worth by being self-sufficient and knowing that no amount of unmet expectations can dampen your day.
Guilt
There may be a thing or two that you did in the past that you’re not particularly proud of. You may have hurt yourself, or other people in process and you haven’t forgotten that or forgiven yourself for it. Guilt, or the “emotion that relates to a person’s sense of right and wrong”, is a very powerful emotion to feel and it’s not necessarily good or bad in itself, but rather depending on how it’s affecting the person who’s feeling it.
If you think you have wronged someone, give them a sincere apology and try your best to make sure that whatever it is you did wrong won’t happen again. There may not be instant forgiveness, especially if something as precarious as trust has been broken, but sincerely apologizing can make way for healing - not just for you but for the other person as well.
Along with acknowledging the fact that you are human, look back on your past actions and see where you can genuinely effect change for the better. Forgive yourself and strive to be better in the aspect that you were at fault. Being human doesn’t just expose you to the propensity of making mistakes, it also makes you capable of learning from them and doing better.
Self-Sabotage
Negative self-talk is like having a debilitating disease that you don’t know you have. It eats you from the inside and affects how you see yourself, the abilities that you have and how you project yourself into the world.
How do you talk to yourself? What messages are you sending internally? Pay close attention to these messages because they shape your thoughts, your beliefs and your mindset. They greatly influence the words you say to the world, the way you communicate your value, and the relationships and the company you choose to keep.
Every time you’re about to make a decision, whether trivial or important, ask yourself: am I doing this for me? Is this truly good for me? Do I want this? Do I deserve this? Is this getting me closer to my goal?
Fear of failure
The new year is literally the start of something new. It holds a promise that you can try again, and this time, it will be better. Only you have the power to turn that promise into a reality by actually trying, or trying again.
How can you try, or try again, if you are immobilized by your fear of failure? Gather your strengths, capitalize on your aces and identify your weak points but do not ignore your fear. Use it, speak to it, ask it why, and use it as fuel to your fire. Your fear is there for a reason so use it to your advantage. What are you afraid of? What can you do to prepare and plan?
Ditch these toxic things and leave them in 2020. Start your year with positivity and take stock of all the good things to add more pep in your step. 2021 is upon you, go ahead and get started!
Hero Image by Kai Pilger on Unsplash
